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我在前面说道：“马屁还是要拍的”。对此，很多网友给予批评和指正，从中受到了很多的启发。
所谓“名不正，则言不顺”。还是曾仕强教授说的好：“不要拍马屁，但要有浓厚的马屁味道。”他老人家对中国人的研究真是到家了。不要拍马屁——这是名：马屁味道——这是言。名正了，怎么言都可以；名不正，怎么言都不行。
所以，我这里也要改一下说法：不要拍马屁，让人舒服就好。
不要拍马屁，但说话办事要让人感觉舒服。感觉舒服，对方就愿意与你交往，进而愿意接受来自你的影响。
什么是舒服？北京腾驹达管理顾问有限公司董事长景素奇曾经这样说道：“让人舒服就是与众不同的品质！”
他认为，凭什么有的人年薪几十万，而有的就上千万。其中的一个重要区别就是“让人舒服”。可见，“让人舒服”不是什么人都可以做到的。
其实，让人舒服，就有拍马屁的“味道”。让人舒服，又不能拍马屁，不仅需要良好的沟通技巧，还需要有“自己的味道”，与众不同，让人对你另眼相看。也就是说，你要想“抬高别人”，自己也要有一定的高度，这样双方都有“光彩”，看起来才舒服。为什么上司“捧”下属不叫拍马屁，下属“捧”上司叫拍马屁，原因就在这里。
有一次，比尔·盖茨参加在日本东京帝国饭店举行的品发布会，作为主设计师的唐骏为了让盖茨在演说中达到最佳效果，他在舞台上画好了一排脚印，盖茨上台时只要沿着脚印就可以准确无误地走到台前的某一个位置。在那个位置离观众的距离更近，显得更亲切，演讲的效果也更好。
发布会顺利结束之后，比尔·盖茨对唐骏说，画脚印的方式很不错，这是谁的想法？唐骏回答说，曾多次在加州看过老布什参加总统竞选的演讲，老布什的随行都是按照这种方式对演讲进行非常细致的安排。盖茨听到这说：“这种方式的确很好，定好位置可以达到最佳的效果。Jun，你这件事做得很职业。”
什么是拍马屁？拍马屁就是“抬高他人，贬低自己”的游戏。从这一点来看，说唐骏拍盖茨的马屁也不为过。但没有人会说唐骏是在拍盖茨的马屁。这是因为唐骏有“自己的味道”，用非常职业的手法在外人面前“捧”了老板一下，让盖茨感觉很自在、很舒服。
许多人拍马屁让人讨厌就是因为没有“自己的味道”，见了谁都是乱吹一起，除了会说一些“肉麻”的话，做些“低俗”的事外，什么也不会。这样的人没有一点职业素养，只会让人生厌，让人不自在、不舒服。
实际上，要做到不拍马屁的人是很少的，在我看来，有两类人能够做到不拍马屁：一类是与事无争的人，他们厌恶拍马屁（也许就不会拍马屁）；另一类是有品质的人，他们不屑于拍马屁（即使是拍马屁，也不会有人认为他们是在拍马屁）。
其实，拍不拍马屁并不重要，关键是要让自己成为一个有品质的人，一个让人舒服的人。这才是最重要的。
后记
文章写到这，让我想起德胜公司创始人聂圣哲说过的一句话：“国人最缺乏的不是聪明，而是对常识的认知和遵守。”这句话给了我很大的感触，我们在类似“拍马屁”这样的问题上，是不是太过于纠结于“名”，而变得不那么“实”了？
文/刘勇
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