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如果我们把自己的心的主权全部交给了别人，别人就不会珍惜，并且随时有可能摧毁它。
我相信，每个人都痛恨过自己，时常有那么一瞬间，自己做出来的事情，说出来的话，连自己都不敢相信。
你是否也曾经有意无意地用“讨好的语言”来讨人喜欢过？
迎合别人的感觉，真不好！
其实，很多人都会犯这样的错，这是人之常情。
有很多女人，包括我自己，怕被人不喜欢、怕惹人闲话、怕别人看不起自己，于是会不惜一切地迎合别人，讨人喜欢，连自己的防线都可以不顾。
一味希望得到别人喜欢、追求肯定的人，会觉得筑一道守得住的自我围墙不是一件容易的事。
我有一个朋友，在外企公司工作了两年，眼看着周围的同事都高升了，自己却毫无动静，就找到一家培训公司要求学习管理技巧。培训师听了她的讲述后，首先安排了一堂别开生面的课：让自己成为一个果敢的女人！
培训师告诉她：她目前非常有必要先在自己的心中建筑一道墙，这道墙是一条防线，在这道墙之内，她是安全的，她可以不必看别人的脸色，也不必战战兢兢、害怕得罪人。当然，这道墙还有抵挡闲言碎语的作用。
上完这堂课，她开始明白：
受欢迎是件好事，但不必要时时处处受欢迎。人人喜欢、人人爱，是谁都不可能做到的。
很快，这个女孩子的“那道墙”，就让她的状况发生了改变，当她第一次向冒犯自己的同事表示强硬态度的时候，弄得对方愕然不知所措。
从此，她在职场备受礼遇。她只管做好自己的事，不再为人际关系发愁。也因注意力集中，能力出众，迅速升职。
这就是，“一堵墙造就好邻居。”
想通过一味掏心，讨好别人来获得别人同样的回报是很难的。所以我们有必要捍卫自己内心的空间，拿捏“硬”与“软”的尺度。
如果我们把自己的心的主权全权交给了别人，别人就不会珍惜，并且随时有可能摧毁它。
所以，请不要太介意别人对自己的好恶。
夸也好，贬也好，无所谓，看开些。请记住以下三点原则：
1、你有说“不”的权利。
2、你有表达意见的权利。
3、你有保持沉默的权利。这是我们每一个人必修的课题。从现在开始，我们都要开始好好修炼自己。
文/韩梅梅，
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