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“有的人，17岁也像个大妈，而有的人，77岁依然像个少女。，”我一个朋友曾经如此感慨过。
世道不好，这个感觉更强烈。前几天看见一个表格，大致罗列了什么年纪应该干什么，孩子应该几岁。但凡日子一过成“应该”，就有一种绝望之气扑面而来。想起那些痛心疾首的大妈觉得不结婚就人生不完整、没生孩子你就什么都不懂的捶胸顿足感，也不知道会自动对号入座的都是什么人。
所以说“大妈气”是个很可怕的东西，它凭借几十年来狭隘的人生经验，赶走了常识与逻辑，坚持认为生活只有一种可能性。所有的目标都是浅显的、现实的，手段则是粗暴的、能走捷径就走捷径的，态度则是强横的、撒泼打滚的。还有一种天然正确的基调在，让你觉得无法沟通，根本不可能达成谅解或共识。不信想想你脑海里浮现出来的大妈形象，基本上也就是叹一口气，无法弄。
这就是为什么有些人年纪轻轻长得也不错，你依然觉得她是个大妈的既视感。但凡津津乐道别人的生活，动不动就喜欢说谁过得好谁过得不好的那种类型，那种违和感超过了一万个朝阳群众。少女的重要特征之一是单纯和梦幻，虽然这年头显得有些不切实际，但保留一点儿，人看起来会比较像样子。难道二十多岁不是应该正是最美丽的年纪，使劲笑狠狠哭好好玩尽情去爱嘛。张嘴闭嘴就是谁谁怎么还不结婚、哎呦她嫁了个富二代诶、你家房子多大啊贷款还干净了吗，实在是有一种见丈母娘的感觉。他们会在论坛里认真的八卦哪个明星看着还不错但其实嫁得好失败整容也不好，也会在淘宝上和客服长久的纠缠三件是不是包邮你能不能抹掉零头，会攀比哪个闺蜜的工作不错老公更靠谱一点儿... ...仿佛没有比较，就没法确定自己的人生是不是幸福。一般你问问这些少女大妈，就会发现她们确实不看书、没爱好、觉得没男人就会天崩地裂。
大妈少女又是另一种形态。活到一把年纪，依然有一颗少女心。也有可能，是前一种少女大妈上了岁数，突然又天真幼稚起来的演变形式。
我不要黑“少女心“了。其实，我是觉得女人都应该多少保留一点少女心。那种眼神里能透露出来的天真、好奇、善意和热情。有这样品质的女人，无论什么年纪，长相如何，都会让人觉得可亲可爱。但可不是加了引号的那种——那是因为逻辑和常识不够，导致的心智不能随着岁月有累积进化而来的初级形态。我们经常会看见一些大妈都有一颗幼稚的心，她们还挺好骗的，看韩剧一样哭得稀里哗啦，轻信一切外人的谣言包括养生小窍门，有少女一样执拗的脾气，把日子过得乱七八糟还自以为无所不能。每当我看见一些轻易上当受骗的老年人，经常从心里涌起一种悲伤：是的新潮的科技我们就算不懂，难道时光带来的睿智也从来没有存在过吗。为什么总是会轻信吃了某样食物就可以不看医生、那么好运气就会中了奖、路边随便遇见的古董都会保值呢。
然后你就会觉得以上两种人其实是殊途同归。这可能也是另一种“应该在什么样的年纪拥有什么样的气质“吧。话说到这里，还真是打脸。可我也见过有老灵魂的年轻人，也确实认识有少女心的老年人。同样会觉得他们可亲可爱。说句文艺得不要脸的话，我是觉得这样的人，坚实的行走在现实生活中，但一直诗意的保有自己的心灵。当这两种境况有冲突的时候，他们从来不以利弊来判断，而是遵从一个发乎真情的内心选择。
诸位不禁要问，反正无论怎么样，最后还不是都要变成大妈嘛。这里我想说，生活从来不是狭隘的选择。这事儿就像美剧和中国电视剧里的中老年妇女角色一样。人家那边可以有科学家、律所合伙人、国务卿，我们这儿就只有恶婆婆、恶婆婆。所以还是眼界的问题。你看令人尊敬的称呼有女士这样的词，无论是一个lady还是一个young lady都是让人愉悦的称谓。但我也是实在想不出用这两个称呼怎么来称呼之前我说过的那两种人。
文/庄雅婷
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