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女人多半希望不断地确认：自己可爱与否，漂亮与否，是不是个成功，是不是精明干练，是不是受欢迎... ...
有一个女孩，认识了一位“理想”型的男人。可是，在恋爱中，这个男人对她的衣着品味横加指责，大为不满。为了讨好这个男人，她把自己彻头彻尾地改造了：她把留了多年的长发剪短；她开始学穿高跟鞋，每天脚疼得快要肿了——没关系，只要这样的打扮他喜欢就行了。
改头换面之后，她都不认识自己了。
可是，不管这个打扮怎么讨好，那个男人总是不满足，总能挑出刺儿来。直到有一天，他会找一个微小的借口，把她甩了。
看到这里，你怎么想？
她在取悦他之前，为什么不考虑先赢得他的尊重呢？她为什么不直接告诉他：“对不起，我觉得我自己长发的样子更好看。”或者说：“我就是很喜欢穿平跟鞋。”
可能你也有过这样的体验，当我们说“不”的时候，总是有些心虚的。
如果你让男人看出你的心虚，他肯定就会乘机而入，得寸进尺。
有很多结了婚的女人，每天面对酱油瓶、尿布的时候，常常会怀疑自己存在的价值。她只是在家庭里受欢迎，走出去的价值呢？
一个对自己的价值心存疑虑的人，有什么被尊重可言呢？
我们在生活里，最想要的是什么？我们有目标吗？有野心吗？有梦想吗？我们在乎有人听我们说话、了解我们吗？我们在乎别人是不是喜欢我们吗？
女人多半希望不断地确认：自己可爱与否，漂亮与否，是不是个成功，是不是精明干练，是不是受欢迎... ...
这些问题的答案，都是来自于他人的。
而别人，不一定能给你最真实的答案！
有一些听得耳根子都起老茧的话：女人，一定要在恋情、家庭之外有自己喜欢做的事，一定要有属于自己的朋友，一定要有自己追求的理想，一定要有一份属于自己的职业。总之，要有自己的目标，不要天天指望男人、孩子或任何人欢迎你，等着他们有一天来回报你的爱。仔细想想，这些话，没有一句，是错的。
文/韩梅梅
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